Whilst it would be rather nice to be recognised for being helpful to society, the whole point of my writing is to emphasise the fact that life becomes so much harder when we try to survive this current world using outdated thinking styles, which we hang on to because we mistakenly think they’re working for us, or because we simply don’t think about our thought process at all!
Our belief system (or frame of reference as I like to call it), is programmed by our historical past. And whilst it’s been normal for the past to run in repetitive cycles, meaning we understand what’s going on because we’ve seen it all before throughout our history, life has now taken us on a different route that will ultimately change our society, us, and the world forever! But we have not been equipped to deal with these changes, and until we are life will not get any easier for us!
Most of us know all too well about our emotions. We know when we feel upset, angry, irritated, loving or sad because we can feel pain in our physical body. Our emotions hurt us, but we often think our pain is being caused by someone or something else, whereby we start to impulsively react to the way we feel, when really it’s our own thoughts that are creating our emotional pain reaction! But whilst we recognise emotional pain, our mental torture is often disguised by our ego, or hidden within our anxiety, where we remain unaware of the constant stream of valid and invalid information we inject into the consciousness that creates our reality.
Many people are living in despair because they feel unable to create the benefits of the world they desire, where their frustration, grief, anger and sadness has no place to go but within. And whilst our society and financial decline continues to get worse, evoking the fear of survival in those who are struggling to live in a dignified way, people have turned to self-help strategies or life ‘gurus’ to try to find a way to help them cope with how they feel. Proving the need for new information to help us cope with our life, who we are, and the way we feel!
Incidents of depression, anxiety, stress and suicide are climbing steeply, as people of all ages struggle to manage how they feel about their dwindling power to survive and grow. So as our normal coping strategies are failing to work any more, and because we’re feeling so vulnerable, we’ve developed a reactively aggressive society that encourages the belief that there are only two ways to survive...hide or fight, comply or rebel, be or not be! But we must start to recognise that whilst our reality is all we know, it is not all there is!
Historically we’ve been led to believe that if we fight hard enough for what we want we will get it! ‘Persevere’ I was told at school, and I did, all the time! As time and time again I repeated old patterns of attitude and behaviour that wasn’t working for me. But I didn’t give up persevering because I believed what I’d been told by the adults and experts around me, so thought I had to fight others, myself, or a situation to get what I truly wanted. But my frame of reference was wrong – for me, and because I wasted so much time persevering and fighting, with myself mainly, life passed by without me being able to experience the feelings of fulfilment and contentment I yearned to experience!
We’ve all been hurt in some way, at some time, by another, meaning we’re all wounded soldiers of life! This is part of society as it has been! And it’s because we’ve been hurt that we live with a protective cloak around us, that constantly monitors our personal comfort and safety level. We’re on alert all the time in case someone offends us, or attacks us, or wants to cheat or hurt us. And the more alert we become to the dangers within our increasingly aggressive society, the more anxious, fearful and alert we become, which constantly feeds the belief that the world is not a safe place for us to be, making us feel even more afraid!
But our fear has historical roots that we can sever, if we become aware of how our thoughts increase our anxiety. When we meet a challenge of any sort our anxiety will naturally increase our adrenalin flow, creating physical sensations that are driven by our comfort level sensors, and which can often escalate into panic attacks if our anxiety and fear thoughts lock together. But if you are aware of what your thoughts are telling you, you can choose to disbelieve them, and then intervene and offer yourself some reassurance.
I’ll use this example to help you understand a little more! A dear friend of mine had a really strong superstitious fear from childhood, related to seeing one magpie. She remembered the old childhood tale about one for sorrow, two for joy etc., and each time she saw just one magpie she would almost freeze in horror, groan ‘Oh no!’, and touch her collar (because that was supposed to cancel the bad luck charm).
Now the psychologist in me knows there is probably a bad experience linked in there somewhere, but that knowledge wasn’t helping my friend to cope with her phobia! So as I wanted to find a way to help her be less afraid, I made a point of watching the magpies in my garden and local areas, and noticed that they usually live in pairs and groups. So for a little while, when I saw one magpie I would wait a few minutes, whereby another would appear, and then saw that others would often follow.
The next time I was having a cuppa with my friend I told her what I’d discovered. I described what I’d observed and reassured her that after seeing a single magpie she would probably see others, if she waited a little while. ‘Oh’ she said. ‘I never realised that!’. Two months later we were chatting, and she told me her fear of magpies was completely gone. And that because of what I’d told her she had been able to reassure herself, and thus changed her thought association from being fearful, to knowing that everything was ok.
All this happened because she had learned some new information which challenged what she believed, so now she realised that seeing a single magpie doesn’t mean it is a single magpie, or that it will result in sorrow as the rhyme would have us believe. This is the simplicity of re-framing our thoughts that anyone can do! It isn’t difficult, but it can be challenging, because first you have learn how to hear, listen and become aware of your thoughts, then you have to learn how to decipher their message. Then, when you have achieved this, you will gain the power of discernment, where you can learn how to choose to believe your thoughts or not!
The most important thing to remember is that because we are all wounded soldiers of life, we are carrying our pain around with us. We are fearful of being hurt even more, so we increase protective strategies that may make us feel secure, but are not serving our higher purpose of growth and freedom!
So because we are overly reactive and afraid, we owe it to ourselves to find an appropriate way to console the fear that it trying to relive the past through us. But we can only do this by becoming more self-observant, and learning new ways to help us cope with our paradoxical mind and life.
So finally for now, what about if you take a look at your phobias and fears, identify and understand their roots, and just like my friend find a way to change your perception of what you believe as truth. You never know, it might make you feel a lot better! I’ll be back soon, but if you want to leave a comment please do so, and if you want further help please visit my website www.chrissiebatten.com, buy my book Mentality – How Changing Your Mind Can Change Your Life and the World! or check out my blog at https://thewardanceofthemindandsoul.wordpress.com
See you soon,
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